the latest addition to our family made her presence known last june 13, 2007. after years and years of getting used to the idea of seeing the last of our line in my lifetime, you can just imagine how this news jolted me. it was an unexpected but welcome blessing.
actually when my brother told us about his wife's pregnancy a few months ago my first reaction was a mixture of shock and disbelief. for a time i refused to let my mind dwell on it. honestly, i wasn't quite sure about how i felt (our parents, in contrast, couldn't contain their joy). me, an aunt?
but now that the event has overtaken us all i can't help but feel glad and relieved.
welcome to the world antoinette. may your path towards self-realization be warmed and enlightened by the love of your parents and those who treasure your presence.
sometimes the hardest thing to live with are wrapped up intimately with regrets, particularly those tantalizing bits where you find yourself wondering about "what-might-have-beens".
intellectually, you know that things always look different at hindsight. but it sure doesn't make things easier to accept or endure. you can't help but wonder what else you could have done to make things better. things that seemed unacceptable or ridiculous then begin to assume a different meaning, which of course leads you to conclude (rightly or wrongly) that you might have taken the wrong path…
there have been times lately that i have begun to doubt my own decisions — which is basically not the best way to start a new career path. well, whatever.
this doesn't mean of course that i'll be backtracking anytime soon. far from it. i'm in this for the long haul, and when i decided to take a different path i knew it wasn't going to be easy. i guess it's just a case of my insecurities getting blown up out of proportion. at any rate, i'm in still in transition and i suppose this is normal.